Leo Clement

We all know about the resolution stuff. Every December 31st we faithfully think about what went wrong this past year, and about what we can do this new year to make it better. We think about ourselves, our situations, our hopes and dreams and from that colorful canvas, we try to pull out some key components and loyally promise to change or fullfill them. Yeah... How's that going for you? Hopefully better then it goes for me. I start out with strong intentions, and by the end of the year, the backwards path is littered with them and I am in the same place where I started. Maybe because they were the wrong ones?  Needless to say, most end of Decembers, I just get depressed about last year's failed resolutions, and never even get to the new year ones. So this year, I'm going to try something new. Instead of mindlessly pursuing the acceptable norm (and failing it), I'm going to go out on a limb. How about, instead of resolution , I shoot for anticipation . I mean, ...

I have, yet again, grew my respect for parents who live every day with a "wired" baby; a child who goes through life trailing medical accessories like some kind of neurotic prima-dona. A baby who when picked up, instead of a swooping gesture of love, it becomes a process of actions and movements, no less tender however, and maybe perhaps even more loving. When Leo was doing his time in the hospital this summer, I remember the terrible disconnect of not being able to hold him, to hug him close, and feel his little body snuggled in tight to mine. And when I finally got to pick him up, five days after the surgery, it was a very stressful and visceral experience. Stressful, because in addition to trailing wires like some kind of robotic jellyfish, he still had the central line in his neck so any movement that jostled it was painful for him. Visceral, because I had this unstoppable momma bear feeling that if only I could hold him and rock him like I always do, it will make everyth...

It's that most wonderful time of the year! The time when society tries to ramp up its consumerism with shameless advertisement, and Christmas becomes nothing but a sad, empty wallet. That iWant was what pushed everything into the red. The new and improved iWant promises many things; Your heart's desire firstly, and secondly, something essential for the betterment of your life. We need that iWant! We can't be happy without it. Every Christmas I think about my children.  Maybe because with both of them, I found out about the pregnancies around Christmas. And so I understood why I was so weepy during the beautiful parts of the church service where we sing about that most precious gift that was given to us. Our salvation in the form of a little baby. The iWant, although it tries hard, really can't compare. Because the gift of Christmas is not about self fulfillment or happiness, it's about the ever lasting joy of sacrifice and love. In many ways, when Leo was ...

I think this little clip speaks for itself, don't you? If this doesn't give you a chuckle, then nothing will... On another note, our Brother Bear met with his neurologist this week, during which, some of the seizure myths were demystified for us. The most important thing that we learned was actually something that helped to alleviate our worries! For a change... Anyway he told us that the freaky seizure that landed us in the ER is actually a preferred type of seizure for people who suffer from epilepsy. Technically it was a partial seizure that only affected his arm and leg and didn't inhibit his responsiveness or any other thing. He went on to say that people can have this type of seizure for years without any damage to the brain. But even for this kind of a seizure, an hour, is one hour way to long. Next time, and I pray every night that there will not be a next time, we need to give him the diastat right away, and then take him into the ER. The longer the seizure g...

If there is a will... Leo will find the way! Every week, every day, and every hour, his brain is learning, growing and developing. So is his body. It's so awesome to watch. Recent skills of his include totally mastering sitting. He sits independently and is able to rotate his torso all over the place and keep his balance. Today at church the real test came when his loving sister dropped a pillow on his head and he didn't move a muscle, other then those he uses to laugh hysterically with, that is. Yeah, he's a tough dude, and on top of that he is into slapstick humor big time. Can't wait to watch my favorite Chaplin films with him! Other nifty things he has learned lately is to throw stuff, dump stuff out, and roll stuff across the floor. And all the stuff eventually ends up doing time in Leo's mouth. He's teething again, 'nuff said! Another skill is being better and stronger at standing. He spends a couple hours a day on his feet, whether it be in his ...

It's no coincidence that Thanksgiving takes place towards the end of one of the most difficult months of the year. And if you don't think so, then you definitely don't live in the northeast. Here, November is usually grey and drab: the strange place when the trees are bare and colorless, and the ground is frozen but not yet blanketed in a muffling robe of white snow. Known as the most sunless month, November is when the reality of a long cold winter starts to set in for keeps. Last November was pretty brutal for us. Between fighting seasonal viruses and depression from lack of sunlight, we were also gripped by the fears surrounding Leo's future, or lack thereof at the time. It was a bleak time and finding something to be thankful for was next to impossible. This year, it's easier to be thankful. But I still somehow manage to find my way into the classroom that belongs to the School of Hard Knocks. Once you have been accepted there, you are there for a good chunk...

Eyes: so essential, so precious, and so taken for granted. They are the "windows to your soul," and can express a plethora of emotion and feeling, in addition to the essential function of relating and translating the world in which we move. Eyes are the instruments of our perception, the gauge for our knowledge and the judge of our insights. The thought of losing that precious ability is one that is so horrifying to me, as an artist, that my lizard brain doesn't even dare to feature that even in a nightmare. My mind just doesn't go there . So that's why I'm calling docs and dragging Leo to appointments because there is no way that I will let him lose that gift. I mentioned previously that he was diagnosed with something called Bilateral Six Nerve Palsy. I actually have no idea what this really means, other then what wikipedia tells me . Unfortunately, rather then the straightforward case of simple cross eyes, which is a pretty easy fix, this is someth...