Leo Clement

Another day, and all is well at Camp Leo. Our days are busy and slow all at the same time. School has started up for Sister Bear (1st grade, what the wha?!), and it feels like summer is coming to a close. Although Justin keeps telling me September isn't winter yet, I shouldn't freak, yet every changing leaf that falls is blown down by a bittersweet wind. Vermont summers are a flash in the pan. Brief, sometimes stormy, always glorious, and every second must be savored. The horses know it. The grass gets sparse, and they slow down, picking and choosing their favorite patch, trying to make it last a little longer. They also look to us humans more, knowing that as winter rolls in, they will depend on us to keep them safe and warm. I can almost see them re-evaluate their relationships with each other, and with me. I like to call it the process of centering. It is a process of gathering all your bits and ends that got stretched out and forgotten during the often hectic su...

Before Leo..... Life was definitely different. Perhaps there was less fear, maybe a little more trust. Less gray hair, fewer scars. Could be the smiles were more frequent, more open. But after Leo, Life was definitely different. Perhaps now there is more courage, maybe a little more honesty. Less ignorance, fewer judgments. Could be the laughter means more, and the love, deeper. Happy two year birthday little lion!!!

So due to popular demand, I finally beat my iMovie program into submission and was able to put together Leo's annual movie.. Hope you like it! And don't be afraid to leave a comment, even if you are new to us and our journey. Sometimes I panic that our words get lost in the mumble and jumble of the www, though the hit counter on the blog here proves otherwise! (I still can't believe we are way over 100,000!) In some way, this movie is a tribute to all of Leo's faithful readers and followers who come back time and again to check up on him and also especially to those who have prayed for him, and make room for our little lion in their hearts. You have our eternal gratitude and awe! Leo's 2012 Movie Whenever I pull up the photos from two years ago now, when our little man's story started, I always find myself wincing and flinching, and in some way, feeling the pain that we felt way back then.  I always have take a couple deep breaths, maybe say a prayer or...

I think this speaks for itself, don't you? In other news, Leo seems to have recovered from his ordeal last weekend, and the medicine seems to be doing its job without any sign of the nasty side effects! So we are daring to be a little hopeful, and even relaxing enough to get a laugh out of this trailer we whipped up last night.  Enjoy! The full feature will be coming out soon~ :-)

You may have gathered that I haven't been on my top form this past weekend and week. To be perfectly honest, I've sort of lost my head and my cool over this seizure episode on Friday and the resulting PICU stay. Days later at home, and I'm still a bit shell shocked. Justin somehow deals with these things better then I; he is able to keep his chin up and keep trucking. I manage that ok until I am back in a familier environment, like home, and then I just kinda fall apart. The clouds of gloom descend, and I start despairing over the slightest thing. Exhausted, emotionally weary and yet constantly on the edge of anxiety. You know, that feeling when the problems of the world rest between your shoulder-blades. The more I pondered and tried to define my state, the worse I felt until I wasn't sure how I was going to get through the day. But, as often is the case, God can be depended upon for sending reinforcements. Not angels with flaming swords...

I realized that there are two places in my body where all the stress and tension gathers: in my shoulders and in that spot between the eyebrows. When Leo was being carted around the hospital from test to test, and as I numbly watched my reflection march next to his moving crib in the black mirrors of the hospital windows, I noted that my shoulders looked like they had sprouted from my ears. I literally could not relax them down, not an inch, not a centimeter. That night there were red marks on my neck from the collar of my shirt. I don't remember being so scared, so panicked, so exquisitely helpless as that night when I sat in the empty ER triage room holding my shaking baby for what seemed like hours. Was in fact, hours, before the right combination of medications was introduced into his over loading system. I'm ashamed for my treatment of the ED staff that night, it wasn't their fault that the regular seizure protocol was not working for Leo. It was,...

Leo has been in the hospital since Friday night when he was admitted with a fever of 102 and in status epilepticus, which for those of you like me, means, a big boss daddy seizure from hell. It just wouldn't let go of our little man. It kept him in its merciless grip for almost three hours while the ER docs tried one medicine after another with no effect. Finally, right before they were going to intubate him so that they could unleash a med of atomic proportions, his seizure finally gave up and slunk away. Needless to say, it was a nightmare of warlike proportions for all of us. Because of the arsenal of meds that were injected into Leo, he was drugged up and out to his eyeballs. He slept through an MRI, Xray and many other tests that night, which was definitely a blessing. He was hooked up to an EEG with a video monitor and they hopefully will disconnect him this morning. The EEG showed that even as he was sleeping, his brain was nursing a corner...