No news is good news as they say!
All has been well here in Camp Little Lion.
Although that blast of weird and wonderful warm weather (Say that five times fast ha!) has gone away leaving boring and cold, but normal March/April weather for us in VT. We are still loving seeing the tenacious little shoots and blooms around the yard, and Leo periodically makes sprints for the door, in hopes of playing in the grass outside. Everything feels like it is waiting, bidding it's time until the reviving warmth comes for good.
Leo on the other hand, is frankly done biding his time. After a year spent flat on his back, he has a "been there, done that," attitude and we are basically running just a step ahead of him in trying to keep the harmful obstacles out of his way. Like the stove, or stairs for instance. Ahh the stairs!! Right now they are the equivalent of the magnetic center in the earth, and Leo is a tiny prop plane with no steering or brakes. Lets just say that I need eyes on the back of my head, and an extra pair of arms. No, make that just an extra pair of all of me.
But, you know...
There is no way in heck that I'm going to complain about this! We are so thrilled, amazed, ecstatic, and spell bound by the antics of the little man. Just to think about the road behind us seems like one of those old flickery movies: all fuzzy with no sound. It seems so unreal what we went through, what we were told, what we expected, when compared to the reality of his life right now. Just the other day I was telling our story to a new friend, and I was struck about how it almost seemed to me like I was talking about someone else. I know it was us, but somehow, it all seemed kinda distant and removed from me. Probably its some sort of trauma response, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels like a healing scar. The acute pain is gone, and all that is left is just a mark, a scar which will be with you forever, but only as a memory.
Some french writer, (can't remember his name, or if I did I couldn't spell it) said, "suffering itself passes; to have suffered, never passes away. And one can say that every experience passes; it can not remain continually, but once it is absolved, and possessed, it remains ours forever."
I love how this just sums it all up for me. Yes we have suffered, but our experience of that, stays forever, and in some way, it is a blessing. Are there days when I wish it didn't happen to us? You bet! But on other days, when I am able to share comfort, respect and understanding with another person who is suffering, I feel grateful. Before Leo, there is no way I would have ever understood real grief and fear, or how to survive it. I think our "scars," make us wiser and humbler at the same time, and that is also a gift. Although in the gift department nothing can really compare to the little Lion man! What a unfathomable gift we have been given. I only pray that we can be truly grateful and appreciative of it.
All has been well here in Camp Little Lion.
Although that blast of weird and wonderful warm weather (Say that five times fast ha!) has gone away leaving boring and cold, but normal March/April weather for us in VT. We are still loving seeing the tenacious little shoots and blooms around the yard, and Leo periodically makes sprints for the door, in hopes of playing in the grass outside. Everything feels like it is waiting, bidding it's time until the reviving warmth comes for good.
Leo on the other hand, is frankly done biding his time. After a year spent flat on his back, he has a "been there, done that," attitude and we are basically running just a step ahead of him in trying to keep the harmful obstacles out of his way. Like the stove, or stairs for instance. Ahh the stairs!! Right now they are the equivalent of the magnetic center in the earth, and Leo is a tiny prop plane with no steering or brakes. Lets just say that I need eyes on the back of my head, and an extra pair of arms. No, make that just an extra pair of all of me.
But, you know...
There is no way in heck that I'm going to complain about this! We are so thrilled, amazed, ecstatic, and spell bound by the antics of the little man. Just to think about the road behind us seems like one of those old flickery movies: all fuzzy with no sound. It seems so unreal what we went through, what we were told, what we expected, when compared to the reality of his life right now. Just the other day I was telling our story to a new friend, and I was struck about how it almost seemed to me like I was talking about someone else. I know it was us, but somehow, it all seemed kinda distant and removed from me. Probably its some sort of trauma response, but it doesn't feel that way. It feels like a healing scar. The acute pain is gone, and all that is left is just a mark, a scar which will be with you forever, but only as a memory.
Some french writer, (can't remember his name, or if I did I couldn't spell it) said, "suffering itself passes; to have suffered, never passes away. And one can say that every experience passes; it can not remain continually, but once it is absolved, and possessed, it remains ours forever."
I love how this just sums it all up for me. Yes we have suffered, but our experience of that, stays forever, and in some way, it is a blessing. Are there days when I wish it didn't happen to us? You bet! But on other days, when I am able to share comfort, respect and understanding with another person who is suffering, I feel grateful. Before Leo, there is no way I would have ever understood real grief and fear, or how to survive it. I think our "scars," make us wiser and humbler at the same time, and that is also a gift. Although in the gift department nothing can really compare to the little Lion man! What a unfathomable gift we have been given. I only pray that we can be truly grateful and appreciative of it.
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| My scar makes me tough! And my mom thinks it has magical powers. Like helping to propel me along surfaces at warp speed. Don't let the diaper fool you. |
Where is the red cape and the capital 'L' on his chest! Anna, give me a call. I would like to ask you something! Emilee Smalley
ReplyDeleteSo very true. One day I hope to be there concerning my lost babies. Thanks so much for posting.
ReplyDeleteHe's a sweetheart.. Love those scars:)
ReplyDeleteOh he looks so grown up! Like the hero of a Western... he needs a stetson or a uniform and he'll sort out the bad guys, set the world aright, make all the gals fall in love with him and ride off into a sunset.
ReplyDelete