Somedays, you have to take the bull by the horns. (Or cat..by the tail?)
Give it a good shake, maybe lay it down in the grass and brand it with whatever sign means courage to you. Something that burns, stings, and fries all that junk clogging up the pathways in your brain and heart. It's about taking that final plunge, everyday, over and over, especially when it doesn't get easier with frequency.
And then somedays it's about letting all the worry, anxiety, fear, and just plain ole tiredness be what it is, but gently, every lightly, rising above it.
Sometimes it takes violence and sometimes, just a gentle bump, to get all that stuff away.
Which approach on which day? How can I discern what needs to be done, and how?
You gotta be your own EMT. You have to triage your heart; your brain, and probably your soul too. Because if you don't who will? Who is better equipped with the inner workings of yourself then you?
And then when you get down to the inner work, you see that it's hard. Its discouraging, and it needs finesse. What to do? The only thing left to do.
You have to just ride through it.
It's a lot to ask! But in end, you will be free.
We've been seeing a lot of these days lately here at Camp Leo. Days that really try your mettle. It's hard, but ever hoping, ever prayerful for peace, we keep going. Staying in the saddle is a challenge, but the rushing air flowing past, seeing those little faces day in and out, is the fuel for our souls. Leo is two, terrifically terrible, normal, and full of his own kind of gumption. No seizures, though everyday the fear is there, like a storm off in the horizon. I pray it will never come, and if it does, that we will have safe shelter. And I know that we will.