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Confessions Of A Momster

1. The difference between a tired Momster and a scary-under-your-bed-real live monster is only by one letter you know.

2. There are moments when Momsters literally hit the wall. And it's on purpose. No worries about the bruise on your forehead, thats what cover up is for...

3. Husbands are often foraging the kitchen landscape for dinner and finding similarities to bushmen in the Kalahari, just minus the coconuts.

4. Sometimes, either pancakes or mac&cheese are made three times a day in the before mentioned kitchen.

5. Momsters know at least three, semi-fashionable hairdos, for disguising the fact that her hair hadn't seen shampoo in three days. What the hell, as long as we are being honest, make it four.

6. A true Momster can rattle off several reasons why the tooth fairy missed her date with her kid's tooth, even when rudely awoken in the wee hours of the morning.

7. A Momster sees the visit of a therapist for her kid as a chance to put her feet up and finally drink that cup of tea in peace.

8. You know you are a Momster when you can change your kid's diaper while he is upright and moving (meaning thrashing limbs that are trying their best to run away) while talking on the phone and sorting laundry.

9. A momster's sick day looks very much like any other day.

10. One of the sweet joys in a Momster's life is perfecting that illusive angle of knee-hip-shoulders that makes it possible to sleep on exactly 3.9999 inches of mattress, and thus making it possible to cuddle the sweet babes who are hogging the whole freaking bed.

12. When a momster's cubs are threatened or even at the tiniest whiff of possible danger, a Momster's true nature comes boiling fiercely and violently up and out. (Reference: man-eating alien coming out of a chest cavity.)

13. This momster can go on, but as some sweet genius said, "less is more," and changed the fate of the lazybum momster procrastinator forever.

Yes, you will know a Momster by her confessions and weaknesses, but also by the spirit of stubborn perseverance in the face of adversity, and by the more or less normal, happy, adjusted kids who call her just "mom," for short.

This goes out to the beautiful Momsters out there (you know who you are..)
And in true Momster style:
Happy belated (so I'm behind by a couple weeks or more, but hey who's counting?) Mother's Day and almost Father's Day!

You know you are a fabulous father when you are married to a Momster. It's just one of those given things.

A typical Momster dressing job. Hey I like to see you do it while cooking breakfast,  getting the other kid to school in one piece, keeping the house from burning down, and the husband from running out screaming?!


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