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Just Do It.

 Since Leo's birth ten months ago there is a phrase that is uttered by family, friends, and well meaning strangers that follows the same script. "Gee," folks say to us, or perhaps "Golly, I really can't imagine how you do it!" So this is where I am usually stumped. Do what exactly? "Well, they say, looking a little confused and awkward, "Get up every morning, go about your life, umm be happy?" At this point I'm usually just as uncomfortable as they are, and it's hard to come up with a gentle answer. Because the truth of the matter is that until you are pushed, you don't really know how strong you can be. Because until you are actually asked to bear something, you can't really know how much, or how well you can do it. There is no way to explain to folks who are fortunate enough to never have been tested in such ways, how these trials of the heart and mind are actually strength giving, rather then the opposite. That you learn to live each day as if it were last, and to take nothing, absolutely NOTHING for granted. Every morning that I open eyes and see my husband, daughter, and most importantly, my dear sweet son smiling back at me, I gave thanks to God. Every day, every 24 hours that goes by, at the end of which we are all alive and healthy (more or less), it is only through God's infinite love and mercy. I don't think people realize just how far we have come since those deep dark days of Leo's birth, how anything that has come at us since then pales in comparison to the fear and agony that Justin and I experienced. How do we do it? Well honestly, it doesn't seem like such a feat. It is our life and the least we can do is live it, day by day by blessed day.
Perhaps other folks who have experienced severe grief and trauma can relate, but for us, the dawn time was always the worst. It was when our minds were just coming out of sleep, that the burdens on our hearts seemed shocking in their intensity. Justin and I would wake up weeping for days, and then slowly, as time went by, our tears stopped and the pain in our hearts lost its sharp edge. And, as Leo's story in our life continued, the pain was replaced by wonder. Those folks who ask us those questions, wouldn't believe how lucky and incredibly grateful we feel for our situation. For some reason, God not only didn't forget us in our misery, but he gave us a miracle. Leo, deemed a terminal lost cause by the medical community, has not only proved their diagnosis wrong, but every day that he grows, thrives, and develops, he underlines the mystery of life. He proves that our all powerful medical community does not have all the answers. That sometimes, only the greatest doctor of all, our Lord, can show us true healing. How do I live my day, they ask? Like this. Between getting lost in all the daily activity of having a super active four year old daughter, a husband at work usually long distances away, a super special ten month old son who has doctor appointments, physical therapy, in home nurse visits, and recently the stress and unknown factors of the upcoming surgery that might or might not change our lives, I usually don't have the time to even ponder how in the world I "do" what I do. And all this I can do, and do happily, only because it's been a hard road getting here and now that the road is smoother, I can fly. And I can fly with the knowledge that whatever comes up in my day, that I will have the strength to bear it. And if I can't, I have faith in someone who does have that strength and He doesn't mind sharing.

On another note, or perhaps not... Leo's pre-op appointment is this coming Tuesday. This is when they take blood, do a physical etc, and just make sure that he is ready for the "big chop," on the 27th. He's got a lot going for him so here's to hoping for a smooth ride for my guy. He's strong as an ox, healthy as a horse, and on top of that he's got a heart of a lion. Put all those animals together and what you get is a pretty indestructible baby. Who says only grownups can be super heroes?

On Sunday the 26th at 2:00 we are having the The Holy Unction service for Leo here.   All are invited so even if you have never gone to an Orthodox church before, now is your chance. Love to you all and as always, thanks for reading and praying! We will be posting news as things start rolling here in the next week.

 Little dude's first time at the beach. Yeah for summer!! Finally......


  1. There will be a candle lit on the icon table on Tuesday to help the day go smoothly. love and blessings, Claire

  2. There's a word that might come near to describing what you have experienced with Leo: Eucatastraphe. Eucatastrophe is a word coined by JRR Tolkein to describe a sudden turn of events in a story that results in the protagonist's well-being (literally, a 'good catastrophe'). The resurrection of Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings is one example of a Eucatastrophe. I'd say that Leo's heroic turn-around is another beautiful example of this. ~ Taylor

  3. I am so grateful to know you and to be blessed with sharing your journey through those incredible posts. Prayers and blessings.


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