Skip to main content

It's Beautiful

I really struggle this time of year. The post holiday crash is potent because of the knowledge that the hardest part of winter is still ahead. The dark and cold and the general inaccessibility of the outdoors often trigger anxiety in me, not to mention depression. My job requires me to be outdoors all year round, regardless of the weather so even though I am used to it, when the temps drop below zero, I'm dragging myself out the door by my boot straps lamenting and mourning those golden summer days.

I had icicles on my eyeballs the day it went fifteen below zero (Fahrenheit) this past week
Between the necessity of getting through the day without frostbite and or misery for me and my kids (though the school has recess in the gym when it's this cold) I often forget to lift up my head and find the beauty that can be found in this dark and solemn season.

That is why I have Leo.

Leo's new favorite word is beautiful.
And he knows how to use it. He knows exactly what it means, it's not just random sounds that can be applied to anything, anytime...
He brings it out with the same flair as a flag, a traffic sign, a prayer, a call to arms...
His bright little face turned up to the sky, the window, the candlelight: he raises his arms and announces to all that "it's beautiful!" 
Driving him to school the other day on the road that briefly follows a mountain creek that was, because of a snow storm during the night, frosted over and sparkling like a diamond as the pink early morning sun played over it. At his joyful cry I looked up from the road, and from my morning list  making mental gymnastics, and for a moment it was as if time stopped. Frozen indeed. Leo was surrounded by the dancing sparkles reflected, and I felt the world slow as if to savor this moment; this moment of suspension of everything except for the miracle of the simple and incredible beauty of light dancing rainbows over his up turned hands, face and the whole world outside our speeding and yet motionless little car.
I'll never forget it.
And as the winter presses me close, all I need to look at my little lion's face, hear his ringing voice cutting through all the dark like a laser beam: a simple word, but the way he wields it, it becomes as profound as life itself and as powerful as ancient glaciers. 
Who could have thought that the boy who when he entered this life was deemed far from beautiful by our cultural definition of the word, knows with his whole being when true beauty is around, and how to glorify in it.

Don't forget to notice the unlikely beauty, because when you do, you'll never forget it.

BTW, I'm still waiting for your movie clips...just a friendly reminder to send 'em to me so we can finally get this project off the ground... 


  1. Hoping to get you a clip by Wednesday or Thursday!

    1. Got it, thanks! I'll try to stick it in.. Movie is coming along, slow but sure.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lost In Summer

It has been a long time...maybe the longest since I have written to you all last. This blog has meant many different things to me over the past seven years, in fact, it has taken as many different manifestations as its subject matter, Leo the little lion! Not so little anymore, in a couple weeks he will be seven years old.  And so will this blog!  It is amazing to think back to the frightening beginning of it all, and to realize that never in a hundred years could I have pictured myself now, sitting and typing this post at my sunny kitchen table, in my own house, while the early morning sounds trickle in from the open porch door and mingle with the voices of my children in the other room. Not one child, as we all thought seven years ago, but two.  Seven years ago, Leo was not going to live to his first birthday. He was not going to be able to talk sweetly to his big sister, as I hear him doing right now. Though I'm sitting in the other room, I can picture them both clearly; his s…

For The NICU

So you guys know that September is the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) awareness month right?  Yeah, I didn't know either.  Every month there is some disease or disorder that we should worry, promote, and be aware after awhile all that awareness stuff gets tiring... But this is the first time I've heard of an awareness month for a place, rather than a physical condition. What's up with that? How come we need an awareness month for a section of the hospital? We have an awareness month for breast cancer, not the cancer ward why the NICU? I'm pretty sure there is a preemie dedicated month, and one for every other condition that may have put the infant in the NICU in the first place, so why the preferential treatment? After thinking about it for awhile, the only reason I could come up with for the need of this awareness of a place, is that the place itself has inherent issues that people (especially potential NICU parents) should be aware of. No…