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Peace Out

Christmas Eve.
New Years.

What do you think Leo thinks of all the holiday bustle? 

Checking back on my latest posts, I notice that Leo has taken the backseat through most of them. But, you know, he is a backseat driver so his presence is hard to ignore!

So here is a post all about our little man.

Christmas is a time when we see a lot of folks, meet with friends, and in general, do a lot of running around. Leo managed to keep up and take most of it in stride. I'm sure I've talked about his fairly mellow personality before! And he is mellow, except when I'm desperately trying to do get something ambitious done like dinner, or errands, then he lets it known, in no uncertain terms, that IT'S NOT OK, for mum to be doing something that takes attention away from him. Sometimes, I am grateful for this reminder to slow down, to stop and just breathe, or stop and cuddle the lion, which is what usually happens. He is my shadow, my little sidekick, and a constant companion in all my daily activities. Except when I go to work, and then Papa is on duty. Anytime Papa is mentioned or heard, Leo very seriously pulls out his plug, and entones "PaaPaa" very clearly and then immediately replaces the pacifier in its previous position. 

Disclaimer about the paci: Yes, I am aware of the evils of the plug, and no I don't let it bother me too much. Why? Because I would rather he chew on that then on the furniture. I suppose once he is done teething we will wean the paci away, but with Leo we really do have bigger fish to fry. Like walking for instance. Walking. Climbing stairs. Getting on the couch. Getting off the couch. Turning on the light switch in the hall. Turning the light switch off. Jumping on the bed. Getting off the bed. Walking to the car. Walking away from the car. Puzzels. Ball drops. Push toys. Pointing. Talking. Putting on shoes. Taking them off. Crawling over the dog. Chasing the cat. Taking swipes at sister. Kissing sister, papa, mom, dog, cat, seahorse lovie. Eating. Snacking. More eating. Water ("waawaa") Bath time. Night time ("naaana").  Therapy. Therapy. Oh yeah, did I mention therapy three or four times a week? I tell you, the list is wonderfully long. The list is miraculously long. And usually his list takes priority even over Christmas. 
But proper homage must be payed to the holiday family photo....err...attempts..

1,000,000 bucks to whoever can guess who the life of the party usually is...

It is hard for us to imagine a different life, though it's not hard to imagine one without the constant threat of seizures. It is always there, lurking in the background of every happy moment, playing in the background of every happy laugh. I pray every night that I won't wake up to a seizing lion. So far, Christmas has come and Leo has not had a seizure since that terrible one in August. But in this, complacency is a luxury that we cannot afford. (Constant Vigilance!) Everywhere Leo goes, his emergency kit goes with him. Every time he gets sick, I take his temp obsessively and treat his fevers even sometimes before they start. I wake several times every night and check on him. I've come up with numerous emergency plans for getting everyone out of the house and to the ER depending on time of day. I wasn't always this crazy. The only thing I can say in my defense is that all parents are crazy about their kids, regardless of their medical needs. It's just with Leo, sometimes the worries are a bit higher up on the notch stick. 
They don't tell you that before you have kids. That the stress may kill you, unless you find a wellspring of peace somewhere deep in your soul, and learn how to install a rapid action pump. Or better yet an IV line straight to a vein. Because every drop of that peace and calming is priceless.

So for New Years, for the beginning of a new year, I only have one resolution:
To have a better shock system. 
Because I know it's pointless to pray that I won't have stress or fear, since in life that is a given. Perhaps the only thing one can pray for in a coming new year, is for the strength to relax when everything demands tension. For the presence of mind to laugh and see the humor in the hardships. And most importantly, for the patience to love. And love. And love.

Wishing you all a blessed holiday and a hopeful new year!


  1. I wish you all luck Anna. I was glad to have read this when I did, I needed to read your resolution in order to better see mine.


  2. We visited the prison yesterday to help our Orthodox community there celebrate Christmas and I reported on Leo. Many of the men have been praying for Leo and your whole family since the very beginning, and they continue to pray, as I do. I you get a chance to relax occasionally, please remember that you are floating on a sea of prayer. Many blessings to you all, and looking forward to a New Year of continued health and growth for both of your children. Claire


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