Skip to main content

Trust

Now it's all up to the doctors. It's all about trust. He's passed out of our hands and into theirs. And God oh God, please keep him safe. I carried him into the OR. It was bright and warm, with cheerful balloons and landscapes paintd on the wall that helped distract from all the scary machines, monitors, and of course, featured in the middle, the table itself. I always forget how small and narrow the actual table is. A thin resting place where the battle between life and death is fought. They put him to sleep in my arms, and he was scared. Then he stilled, leaving me with the expression in his eyes burnt on to the inside of my eyelids. No parent should have to do this. And yet so many do. Trust. Trust. Trust. I make it the mantra of my racing heart.

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 6, 2012 at 9:21 AM

    All of you are in my prayers. I wish I could do more.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Calories and CoffeeFebruary 6, 2012 at 9:57 AM

    Thinking of and praying for you guys!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 6, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    Thinking and praying for your family and the Doctors and the nurses!With much Love, The Smalleys

    ReplyDelete
  4. MGTFebruary 6, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    Hope. Trust. Love... Hope. Trust. Love... Lord, have mercy!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Matushka AnnaFebruary 6, 2012 at 11:49 AM

    Holding you all in prayer today.

    ReplyDelete
  6. julieFebruary 6, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    I ran into your baby boys blog & he touched my heart, he will be in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

With Mixed Feelings

So for the past couple weeks my feed has been filled with the "back to school" and "end of summer" and "beginning of parental freedom from their annoying offspring" photos. It's ok, I totally get it. Another year, another back to school pic, another notch in the door jamb, and another chapter of growth and development with junior. Look at him go! Or not, as the case may be for many children. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease control and Prevention) one in six children has one...a developmental disability. A stamp of "not normal" across their foreheads. A number. A check mark in a box. My kid is one of them. I heard a brief segment on NPR that enticingly started out with the title of developmental delays on the rise, a 17% increase over the last twelve years. And though I turned up the volume the segment only talked about how it's probably only due to poverty, and it's only the upper classes that actually pursue diagnosis...
34 comments
Read more

Pharmaceutical Fallout

"Back to the hospital?! You're joking right?!" I'm sure you guys are wondering what's been up with the Lion this past week after our worrisome VEEG adventure.  To tell you the truth, I feel like I've been taking shots of Leo's drugs and consequently feel dull and numb and just plain depressed. That is now of course, two days ago I was running high on adrenalin and resembled a charging rhino. I'll tell you why: So after being put on his new drug, Trileptal, Leo definitely started having a cessation of seizure activity, unfortunately however, he also started having severe headaches, photophobia, inconsolable crying and then in the last couple of days, a rash on his thighs, face, and hands. Just as an FYI the word "rash" is a magic word that will open the doors of the medical castle faster and slicker than a trojan horse. It's true, one does not mess about with allergic reactions. Day 1 Day 2 (rash got progressively ang...
2 comments
Read more

The School Bus As Metaphor

A school bus can mean all sorts of different things: dread, boredom, excitement, responsibility, change...it means something different to all of us. I was primarily homeschooled as a kid, and though I preferred that, there was still an element of desire and curiosity for me every time I saw a school bus when I was young.  I couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like to be part of the school bus world. Of course I didn't have to wonder about it for very long because I did, in many ways, have the ideal education. There was that time I took the winter off from school instead of summer to practice my extra curricular work which was...downhill skiing and snowboarding. Then there was the part-time jobs at the local farms that I was able to do because of my own set and very flexible school hours. To clarify, because it sounds like I didn't do any academics at all in the above two sentences, I did. Lots. Tons. But I did them efficiently and completely independently, e...
Post a Comment
Read more