Skip to main content

Heart of the Earth

So the past few days we have gotten a glimpse of what life with Leo might be all about. As newborns go, he is pretty much what parents would wish for. Sleeps through the night, doesn't cry too much, and is pretty happy to just hang out while the daily DuMoulin life ebbs and tides around him. He has also graduated to being a successful breastfeeder, which I am very grateful for! He made his debut visit to church on Sunday and was a model parishioner. Of course, I have been a parent long enough to know not to brag too much about this and that, since your kid will almost immediately prove you wrong. So enough of that.

Today Leo had the first visit from the VNH. After a phone call or two, they finally found their way to our cabin, and promptly helped me to shed any illusions and preconceived notions about what visiting nurses are like. They are really the backbone of our society, traveling through the little known circles of disability, real sickness and tragedy. Little known, because unless you are intimately connected to those three things, you wouldn't necessarily be aware of them. We go through life blatantly denying death and sickness, pretending that those things will never happen to us. However, when they do happen, (it's inevitable that they do) these angels dressed up as hardy VT nurses, with eyes who have seen it all, are there to help. For them, disabled children, and those as severely as Leo is, are still beautiful human beings that need to be treated respectfully and lovingly as possible. At the hospital, though the docs were fantastic, Leo to them was just a problem to be solved, not seen as the wonderful and purposeful being that he is. He was sent home as a hospice case, and they looked at us with pity. Better luck next time folks! These nurses, these noble hearts of the earth, look at us like we are normal parents of a precious baby boy who has a right to life just like any other one. These past weeks, through out all the emotions, and grief, I have felt like all the joys of having a new baby; all those silly stupid things like admiring your newborn, even saying "congratulations," have been stolen from me. His baptism, which should have happened with all the pomp and ceremony it deserved, happened in silence and alone in the operating room. His first communion, the night before his surgery, was washed down in tears. So when these earthy angels came and loved Leo for being a miracle of life, and as they were leaving, they said, "Congrats you guys, you have a beautiful son," I felt bits of my broken heart starting to knit together. Perhaps I can still reclaim those little joys as mine, and feel proud of this lion-heart that I helped bring into the world. The tears will always be there, the grief as sharp as knives, but at least I can look at my son and feel proud to be his mother.



Comments

  1. He is beautiful and I'm so glad you have him at home with you and that you have nurses that are there for all of you.

    If you are ever interested in a family photoshoot just let me know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your words (and pictures) fill us to the very fibers of our beings with much joy and gratitude, dearest Anna. Leo is thriving under all that love you, Justin and Nika are giving him. No better way to celebrate his wonderful LIFE!
    "Fearfully and wonderfully made!"
    Love to you all...again and again.
    Kelley & the Barberg gang

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is a beautiful wee face in the second photo.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your poignant posting makes me weep with joy. Congratulations!
    Blessings on your family.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So grateful for all you're sharing with us. We care a very great deal, and what you write is very important. Today's post is amazing. Thinking of you on the birthday of the Theotokos.
    Love from the Bouteneffs

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautifully said, Anna. You are so right about those who serve "behind the scenes" and are willing to look beyond the surface. A true picture of Christ. He looks so cozy in the lambswool- can't wait to meet him :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love that you're able to breastfeed! So important :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I learned about Leo last night from Tim & JoAnn and this morning while having coffee with a friend was informed of this blog. I hope you make this into a book someday as God will continue to use Leo to bless and give hope to many parents. As God shapes us into his image some folks are asked to suffer great things so they can emerge as servants of our Great Lord and Savior. You folks are simply amazing............Leo is in our prayers in between many tears as we read your blog...Gary fm Florida

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your old friend Leesha is finally catching up with you. My gmail delivered your blog to me. It's been awhile getting set up here in Montana. I'm ready to start reading. You all sound wonderful. Love, Lee

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The School Bus As Metaphor

A school bus can mean all sorts of different things: dread, boredom, excitement, responsibility, change...it means something different to all of us. I was primarily homeschooled as a kid, and though I preferred that, there was still an element of desire and curiosity for me every time I saw a school bus when I was young.  I couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like to be part of the school bus world. Of course I didn't have to wonder about it for very long because I did, in many ways, have the ideal education. There was that time I took the winter off from school instead of summer to practice my extra curricular work which was...downhill skiing and snowboarding. Then there was the part-time jobs at the local farms that I was able to do because of my own set and very flexible school hours. To clarify, because it sounds like I didn't do any academics at all in the above two sentences, I did. Lots. Tons. But I did them efficiently and completely independently, e

With Mixed Feelings

So for the past couple weeks my feed has been filled with the "back to school" and "end of summer" and "beginning of parental freedom from their annoying offspring" photos. It's ok, I totally get it. Another year, another back to school pic, another notch in the door jamb, and another chapter of growth and development with junior. Look at him go! Or not, as the case may be for many children. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease control and Prevention) one in six children has one...a developmental disability. A stamp of "not normal" across their foreheads. A number. A check mark in a box. My kid is one of them. I heard a brief segment on NPR that enticingly started out with the title of developmental delays on the rise, a 17% increase over the last twelve years. And though I turned up the volume the segment only talked about how it's probably only due to poverty, and it's only the upper classes that actually pursue diagnosis

The Move

Leo Clement has moved, you guys! The blog is now being hosted by a different platform, and with some awesome new results. Come check it out! All future posts and updates can now be found at the  Little Lion's new digs. Hope to see you there!